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  • Sarah Purvey - Clinical Psychologist

How On Earth Can you Keep on Giving Mumma?

Have a little think about how much you give to others? What have you done for your kids just today? Clothed them, fed them, cuddled them, made lunch, snacks, nappy changes, helped them go to the toilet? Or if they're older, driven them to school? Talked, loved, made breakfast cuddled or shouted (aghh, it's Monday and end of year is just around the corner, everyone is saaaahhhh tired right)? Let alone the whole weekend or previous week.

What have others or you done for you this morning? Anyone? When I arrived at the office this morning, my lovely friend had popped a bottle of Derwent Estate Riesling on my desk. Oh my goodness, it makes a difference to surround yourself with good friends :) I also lit a Frangipani candle (see above) as a little compassionate act for me. I've had a tough weekend, as we had to put our border collie to sleep on Saturday, as she had bone cancer (which we discovered last week). To be honest, the thought of giving to anyone is difficult today. And my whole job focusses on supporting others and then supporting my kids and my husband when I get home. How on earth can I do that, when I've currently got little in my tank? And more importantly, how are you going to that, when you have very little in your tank? Ask yourself, "What do I need today?" This can be the start of learning to cultivate self compassion. Most Mums I speak to are amazing at looking after their kids and everyone around them. But they're so damn mean to themselves! There's always something that they should be better at. Not a good enough Mum, not kind enough, not patient enough, too irritable, not healthy enough, drinks too much coffee, too much wine, eats too much chocolate and if only they would just start meal planning too. And it's their fault their kid doesn't eat healthy meals all the time, it's their fault they're not sleeping (as they just created these bad habits), it's just generally their fault. Come on. Drop it. Give yourself a break. It'll be ok. And even if you do need to take responsibility. Even if you do make mistakes. That's ok. It's not a big deal. Can you clear off the kitchen bench and light a nice smelling candle? Can you make your favourite meal tonight and the kids can eat toast? Can you not return that phone call to the family member, you really don't want to speak to today? Boundaries are an act of self compassion too. So, how on earth are you going to keep on giving, if you haven't given to you today? Let me know how you go, I'd love to hear from you. Sarah xx

So, what is it? What can you do? What's a small act of kindness to you?

Be compassionate with yourself. Give yourself a break, just for a moment. The world isn't going to end, if you just think about what it is that you need today. PS I nearly forgot, I have one more ticket to giveaway for my book launch on Friday 13th Dec (can't believe it's nearly here already). 1 signed copy of my book, morning tea, a spot on the couch to chat about guilt, perfectionism and meet with other Mums and an entry to the lucky door pampering prize!! Sign up to therapy and support straight to your inbox (www.easternshorepsychology.com/keep-sane-and-parent-on

PPS Head over here ( www.easternshorepsychology.com/keep-sane-and-parent-on) if you want to purchase a ticket for my book launch in Hobart. 6 spots left! You can turn up on the day, for sure, if you don't have a ticket, but ideally, I'd love to know, so I can preorganise your morning tea and sign your book. Grab your spot on the couch over here

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