"If you're not yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them."
Mark Ruffalo
Aggghhh yelling! It's an easy cycle to get into, especially when your cup is empty.
There are loads of reasons why we as parents yell and it's absolutely nothing to do with being a shitty parent (unless you refuse to acknowledge that you've done anything wrong and your yelling is constant and out of control).
Here's a few suggestions for you to help drop the yelling. Also, I think it's important to aim for improvements, instead of never yelling (even though that could be possible to achieve with HEAPS OF PRACTICE IN RESISTING THE URGE TO YELL, SUPPORT AND SELF CARE)
đStep 1 - is enough sleep. Obviously this is difficult if your children are waking you up!!! But just bear in mind that it's VERY DIFFICULT to be calm if you haven't enough sleep
đStep 2. Make sure your resourced enough to cope, which starts with regular self care.
đ Step 3. Regular mindfulness to help you learn about your thoughts and sensations in your body. And to help you notice the early signs and walk away or to stop you ranting earlier.
You can check out my free meditation/hypnosis on You Tube below to help you stop yelling and let go of guilt, if you do yell right here...
https://youtu.be/mSq4u7yxvRM
đStep 4. Forgive thyself. Move on. Drop the guilt. You're still a great parent. Most parents yell and we can learn to improve it, if we put in the effort to look after ourselves and learn about ourselves to reduce the behaviour. And download my free compassionate hand exercise too, for a deep dive into self compassion. Something all parents need to learn.
âŁStep 5. Boundaries and follow through with what you say you're going to do with your kids.
And for the rest, read the info graphic đ Bottom line, you can learn to yell less, but it's unlikely you'll be perfect. Drop the idea of perfection. Perfection is unattainable. Work on yelling less and reducing intensity or stopping earlier. And if you yell, keep working on it and start from Step 1!
PS If you really want to work on this more with me, my Ultimate Guide to Keeping Sane for Parents is available here to work on anger, Mum guilt, self care, managing challenging behaviours with your kids, relationship and finding your identity outside of parenting. Have a little looksie or at least sign up to my mail list for more free MP3s and tips straight from me, weekly đ
